It Has Been A lot to Unpack

(it is still being unpacked)

It took me so long to wrap my fingers around writing this post, but it has been trickling away on my mind. With December days bright and blurry, it’s hard to see the trees for the wood — even though it stands now, still surrounds me! And I think it’s because not only is there so much to unpack, but that I am still in the throes of unpacking it. This year I put my life in boxes, which makes me feel like a bit of a hoarder when I see how much they can contain.

I am currently recovering from a nasty bacterial infection, fever and autoimmune flare up (oh, the joys of autoimmunity!), and moving counties every few weeks or days, making it almost impossible to find the spare space in my mind or day. But this post was on my mind, and when something lingers like that, so quiet, still, so stable — I often feel it’s best we whip our knuckles out and write about it.

I recently made a post about my complex relationship with my native County Clare, a land I discovered at the age of three when my parents bought a parcel of East Clare wilderness. Through time and change, this place grew on me, like lichen on bare tree. I fell in love with it, quickly. It was miles and mountains away from the West London life I’d known before it. It had a stream cutting through the centre, a forest of hazel and silver birch and a track with grass in the centre.

I grew up with this place, and through it — pardon the cliche, but it did in a sense ‘raise’ me (and not without the large loving licking friends, a band of collie dogs belonging to my granny and grandad who used to roam the lands with my sister and I). And then it changed. Once the house was an innocent little cottage without hot running water and electricity, but full of wild, electric energy brought about by leaves and trees, fairies and bees.

(The rest of this post is paid. If you are thinking of becoming a free or subscriber I would be so grateful to have you — it’s 4.50 a month if you select ‘gift’ option at checkout. Each month I send one longer post to paid subscribers detailing the projects I’m currently working on and more personal natters. The others are all free!).